Growing up my twin sister and I would roll our eyes at my mamaw who thought we should live our lives in tandem. We joked if it were up to her we’d be living in twin houses right next door to each other. Now that she’s lived 400 miles away for the last seventeen years, we’re starting to think maybe our mamaw’s idea wasn’t so crazy.

As it is, whenever someone finds out I have a twin sister they tend to ask the same line of questions over and over again. If they don’t ask, I know they are thinking it. Some of these questions are typical ones and some are questions that fall into the category of “how old are you” and “are you pregnant”, meaning you just shouldn’t ask them. So here you go, answers to all your twin questions in one short blog post.

Which one is the nice one? Her. And you should keep that in mind as you read the rest of these answer. It really only goes downhill from here.

If I pinch her will you feel it? No, but you will...WHEN I PUNCH YOU IN THE FACE. Seriously, don’t mess with my sister. (See questions #1.) I will be nice and throw in that I have had dreams of her being hurt and couldn’t rest until I talked to her. I can’t remember a single time that those dreams were anything more than dreams. When I was seriously injured in a car accident several years ago, she had no idea until my mom called her. So the twin telepathy isn’t strong with us.

Are you sure you’re Hilary? What if they mixed you up at birth you’re really your sister? Oh, no! You mean, I could have lived my whole life as someone else? Now I’m going to have an identity crisis. *eyeroll* Yep, I’m sure. My parents have more forethought in their little finger than most people have their whole lives. Before removing our hospital bracelets, my mom painted my sister’s toenails and kept them painted for years. Now I may have a complex because my middle name was a boy’s name (Blake) and I didn’t have painted toenails, but I’m pretty sure I am who I am.

Are you identical? Well...before we were born the doctor told my mom we were fraternal. After we were born he told her we were identical. So now you know as much as I do. My sister has tried to talk me into having DNA tests run to determine the answer but it won’t change my life. So if you want to know badly enough to pay for the test, I’ll take it. Otherwise, we’ll just go with we look a whole lot alike, which really has nothing to do with the identical/fraternal question.

Did your mom dress you alike when you were kids? Yes. She says it was easier and as a mom now myself, I totally understand doing what was easy. One of the best decisions she ever made was when we decided in third grade not to dress alike anymore. She didn’t fight it. She just said it was nice while it lasted and moved on. On more than one occasion my sister and I show up somewhere dressed alike and neither of us knew what the other one was wearing before we left.

Did you ever try to confuse boys? Ewwww, gross! No. Although one of my sister’s boyfriends once confessed he almost turned around and kissed me once because he thought I was her until he luckily realized his mistake before it was too late.

Did you ever fight over boys? Again, ewwww, gross! No. Our taste in boys was always very, very different. Although our husbands do actually like each other.

What’s it like to be a twin? My personal favorite. I usually answer with “what’s it like not to be a twin?”. I can’t answer that one. I always had a playmate growing up. If you ask me about my childhood I will likely answer with the pronouns “we” or “us” instead of “I” or “me”. We shared a room all the way through college (including our dorm room). We shared a car until college. We had the same friends and went on the same trips. Very few memories before the age of 22 do not include my sister. So I guess that’s what it’s like to be a twin.

Are you twins? Well, duh. When we were little kids dressed alike riding in a double stroller I'm pretty sure I still gave people that look. Now we mostly get "you really look a lot alike" and then we explain.

Do your kids ever get you mixed up? No. Kids know their mama. All of our kids (including our older sister's kids) have had a moment around the age of 18 months where they saw the two of us together and did a double take. We laughed all nine times it happened. When we were at my sister's house once, I went into the bathroom to help my daughter get in the tub and she asked "are you my mama or Joel's mama?". She was grinning which means she knew I was her mama.

UPDATE: My sister's youngest child has tapped me on the shoulder, taken my hand or started talking to me before he realized I was not his mama.

Being a twin is a different relationship. We’re sisters and yet more than sisters. My mom has always said our husbands would just have to understand there’s a different bond between us. Luckily they do. Now if only we could get them started on those twin houses next door to each other...

#twins #christianauthor